


Sly Slimmortal

by ThatSpicySeaFlapFlap



Category: Haikyuu!!, My Immortal (fanfiction)
Genre: Haikyuu + My Immortal Minibang, M/M, Yaku Morisuke-centric, welcome to chilli's
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27652130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatSpicySeaFlapFlap/pseuds/ThatSpicySeaFlapFlap
Summary: im going to hell and you're coming with meMy name is Yaku Alzihmimers Pigeon Morisuke, and i'm a normal student by day, immortal pornstar by night."
Relationships: Ojiro Aran/Yaku Morisuke, me & god's disappointment in humanity
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13
Collections: Volleyballs + Eyeliner = A Lot of Sin





	1. oml ure a bich

**Author's Note:**

> please dont read this if u value your life/

My name is Yaku Alzihmimers Pigeon Morisuke, and i'm a normal student by day, immortal pornstar by night. normally there owuld be laws against that but im secretly a demigod so im over 18 and aslo a bad bitch u cant tell me wlat to do. 

I stlart mt day by eating some cabababababage bc im hot and hot ppl eat cababababage just ask fox news im right. my father is the fox from fox news im a eternal fox hybrid and therefore superirorir than alj of u lozers so u should knoe that if i evlr met u we clouldnt be firneds im too cool 4 u and ure poorass self. 

aftwe i finsih my cabababababage and take a shit bc constipation can kill and im too pretty to die i pull out the sandpapler i stoll from my bofyriends shop class ad sand off the nali polish i puttt on yetserlay. hot people match eberywhere thats why i die my dick hair to mtach my outfits everydai. 

once im done looklingf better tnah all of my clasmats i go downstairs to a ruined house bc my das doesnt pay child support and my mloms job as a neurosurgeon doesnt make enlugh monley for me to eat mlore than once a month. its ok tho bc that wai i stlay hotter than my classmates. 

i hat my mom sge sucks. she doesnt even swallow i keep hearling her boyfriends comlpain that i always blow them better than her. shes always mad at me that i keep stealng her mans but i keep telllling her that wouldnt happen if she was actually goof in bed. 

i do mt prayers everyday to my dad the fox from fox news whos actually a gof and the king of a small underseas colony of foxes who can breathe underwater. my dads a bitch too he didnt even give me the $1,000,000,000,000,000 i asked for last month for a new computtr. he doesnt pay child support either hes such a bitch. 

i dont ride the bus to school bussses r 4 plebs and i am a quleen with a job. i get my security guard Jorge to driver me to sclolololhool and take all my tests so i can get bettr at sex durling the day to out mkae my paronts doing porn because im better than them. 

when i gottt to svhool i saw the biggest hottie. his name is aran ojiro and hes the football captain ignoring the fact that this fic is set in japan. whenever he stops looking at me i start to commit suicide. he had a boyfriedn and then i killed him becayse im the best for Aran.

"ARAN" i yelled boobily as i pulled down my shirt to better expose my man-titties and show aran how hot i was. "I LUV U"

"BITCH" aran porned back gorwing a full 70000 feet in szie and picking me up in his man-nukles. "I LUV U"

all of the other students stared in jelously bc im better than them.


	2. fite me lij bisg

my bf and i were the top couple of the school bc i severly maaimed any1 ese who tried to get 2gother. were the best bc we have teh bigest dics of the students body, almst as big as barrys from the bee move {A/N if u dont no that barry the bee has a 6 ft lomg dic u need to get off this flic bc thats homophobic and i kill homophobics and eat them for a midmorning snaccc}

i luv my bf we both a blood kinks but hes a vampre so we take ketchup and put it in watar and just slather it all over my dirty fucking assholes so wehn he pluts his throbbing fladonkity donk in my hungry flipondidy flip it looks like im bleeding. its more fun when i have killed some1 this mroning so ive got their blood all over me too. it just makes me feel like a dirty little bitch. 

Aran and i went to class together at our skool called The Jesus School of Sexting God.

we went and have public sex in math class everyday every1 in our class is jealous of his big juicy member. wen they first started their priniccpal an old bitch named tanaka said that they needed to stop so i broke the window with my eipc karat skillz and stabbeded him in the fcucking chest bc he was a bitch.

our math teacher is a dead body her name used to be kyoko until i fucking shanked her for slepin with my mom no one with scuh low standards deserves to lve. 

in the class was a fucjing bitch his name was asahi hes a gangstr.

BITCH asahi shouted. yaku slept with him once too hes 70 yr old werewolve we made a sext tap it has 70000000000000000000000000006000000000000000 views on porntube. 

yaku didnt like him so dick and tities swinging looce he chaleged him to a fucking duel. Bitchasahi accepted because hes a bitch.


	3. i hats meslef

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> queeshing is 4 pussies

"Im gonna fite u!" yaku yeled at bitchashi.

'no!' bitachi yelllllled bacc, 'imma fite u'

'tch' yaku tched 'i think not'

and yaku kiked his ass bc hes a bad bicth

'i new ir!' bitcasahi yeled1 'ure dads part of the mlafia'

'nop!' yaku lied like a liar bc he lied bc his dad IS in rhe mafia 'ure wrong'

"ive connected it' bitchasahi yelled holding a cheese grater he pulled out of his little bitchass boyfriend noyas ass. 

'you didnt connec shit' yaku said because hes a bad bitch and hes still fcuking naced. 

"IVE CONNECTED THEM!"

Aran came up bhind yaku & stck his thronggaly thang into his cavernous hole. "ive connected by dick 2 ur a$$."

Yaku moaned because he was a hot bitch. 

his math teacher srated extra ded in the clasrom bc shes a ded bish


	4. WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY

mu boiflend is the blest bolyfrnid and i will fite u u smiple btich. my bpyfeird is hoter than grald wai {A/N geralalalalalalalald waaaaaayyyi is the hopppesyt bitch and i will tlhrow hadns 2 any1 hwo dsgrees.}

my boiferind is hot bc he is vry suportive fo my pron indududududududustry. i luv him.

atfer maht cals i did more skool bc i am smort but i got detetetetetetetetention bc the schol doent se it bc tehy aer al agiants me bc thye gvie me Fs. but i awlways egt tou elary bc i seleep w/ the detetetetetetention techaer. 

"AH!" the techaer oinkawa maoned bc i did giid muoth sex.

he had a mnoster dangly doink btu t ws fine bc my mouth was very gud.

atfer we did the Drity my boifernd aarn and i went to the porn site.


	5. Chapter 5

yakukukuku + his bf had the hotetststs fo hot sexy time onn his pirvate palne bc he has MONEY but not enouhg to aet omre tan tiwce a yer. tehyre goin to his pron studio in madagascar.


	6. Chapter 6

YAKU DID SOME GOOD FUKING PRON IN MADAGASCAR.


	7. Chapter 7

tihs caphter is an authorororororororors notet so yall gon fucking listen 

all fo u r cyberbeber billues 4 tihnking bererererendan uririre coldnt be yakus boyfirend if aran ddint hav suck a big fladdonkity doo.


	8. Chapter 8

yali is hot n got ppl go to paris thatsy y him and aran go to pariws. 

"look the ifififififififififififial towar." Aran towards out loudn.

"i built the falafel towar." yaku yaks, slowly masterbating bc thats that hot people DO


	9. Chapter 9

yaku and aran do it on the flannel tower. 

"OH" yaku sexes sexily his man titties doing the tittying. "but ure big fat rodidy dong into my cavivivivivity'

"MOAN" aran maons bc hegfiwg sugc a a hot boyfrinced. he lsfkhlifhj cjgis faldisity dong intp the cavgroity. iot dgsa got hecausg e they wer wehf khot.


	10. Chapter 10

bc yakuuutut is hot he is hotu and thats teh turth because hes got all As evevevevevn tho theyre in jaapan and the Jesus School For Sexting GodTM is actualllly a fotnrnt for the britisih mafifififfia evem tho his teacehrs a;; fail him becays ethey hate him. A/N eat yakus teachers when u eat the rich pls.


	11. Chapter 11

yaluku fone ring a ling lings. 

"BRRRRRRG" it brrrngs

"yes" yalu boobed boobily bouncing on his boyfriend bouncing boy on the fandom toe in frnce bc he BUILT IT

"i neeed ure help to kill the madia son" his father the fox hybrid says

"no u tired to kill me lsast timime we killed people"

"i said i was sorry"

"fine" yaku moeans" but only bc im so nice im going to cut your dick and balls off father"


	12. Chapter 12

he telelelelelprots to his father bevause he can just do that

"I HAT U FATER" yaku yaks

"IM SORRY SON"

">:(" yaku says baccc while jerjejejrjling offf his bf. "i only help u becayse i care bout the world bitch'


	13. Chapter 13

the skkkkky trun balck.

"MY ARCH NEMISIS," yaku yelled. "RAIN!"

the rain didnt respond. it never did.


	14. Chapter 14

"RAIN I WILL KILL U" yaku yeets hmselg at the rain and fites it.

"CAN I HELP SON" his fattttter yells.

"NO" yau yelled "URE HELPING THE RAIN"

"I AM IM SORRY"

yaku sququququinted "NO MERCY" he smote his dad with the power of a hundred suns


	15. Chapter 15

yaku smote his dad because he could. his dad is dead. yaku is now daddy.


	16. Chapter 16

yaku and the rain had an epic babababbababbtttle.


	17. Chapter 17

yaku decided enough was enough and used 2% of his power to smite the rain. 

"AH" aran arans

"oh shit" yaku yaks "i just fucking smote my boyfriend"


	18. Chapter 18

"aran my love" yaku yaks "u had such a nice dick"

"u had such a nice velvety cavern" aran says as he dies. yaku screeches becase ihes ihmiised his boyfrind so muh he canr lieve in a world iwthotut aran b ad his masasjive flandity doo,


	19. Chapter 19

yaku deicded tos fucking do soemthing abnout it.


	20. Chapter 20

yaku destroys the entire universe and himself from the grief of accidentally murdering his boyfriends massive penis

THE FUCKING END COWARDS


End file.
